Time for a new roof!

Well this weekend is a long weekend coming up and the majority of it will be roofing. Well not me roofing, my hubby and some wonderful, wonderful people that are going to pitch in to help. I am not looking forward to the prospect though, as there will be a 2 year old running about and I am not sure how I am going to keep her happy. Keeping her in the house ALL the time is just not going to happen, she is a child of the outdoors and wants to be outside all the time! Which is an awesome thing under normal circumstances, but with nails and shingles flying around, not so awesome. Oh well, I suppose we will just do the best we can.

Speaking of roofing, I have a small annoyance to complain about. I am a fairly organized person, I write lists and make things generally happen fairly smoothly. Well, roofing is not my forte so I have had to give up complete control in this matter. I can already see where my hubby hasn't got everything ready to go, hasn't called to borrow this, or that. I know that it will happen, and it will get done, but I really do believe that I could have helped make things run more smoothly. However, one does not want to ride someones butt, especially when I know nothing about the situation. I guess we shall have to see how it all turns out.

I think this is an issue that I have to work on in every day life too, relinquishing control to circumstance, to my hubby. I tend to have everything figured out for him and Gracie, and maybe I need to not do that quite as much. I would be less stressed as well!! I can just worry about me and my plans and not everyone else's.

Relationships sure do take a lot of work, it is such an ongoing battle. Some days, it is very hard to see the fruits of our labour, but then of course there are other days where having those relationships are such a joy! Thank God for those moments of joy, keeping me motivated!!

My child comes out with the most ridiculous things. Last night as we were going to bed, I asked her to tell me about her day. She told me of grocery shopping with Grandpa (I conveniently go grocery shopping at the same place and on the same day as my folks and Grandpa takes Gracie with him, which leaves me free!!!) and him showing her the fish in Wal-mart.
Then she told of going to McDonalds (guilty as charged) and how her "eyes went" and her "ears went" and her "nose went" and her "knees went" and her "eyebrows went" and her "nipples went".......

Hummm!

I want to write..

But what do I write? Do I go back to old papers and re look and rewrite them? Or do I start from Scratch?

Kids books? Westerns? Romance? What can I write, and what sells? (not that I expect to be the next big thang!!)

Then what? How does one publish??

Then I have been reading so many well written blogs, which my talents comes no where close to matching, but oh wouldn't that be a great job for a stay at home mom?? Well, one can dream......

Work, work and more work.

Why is it that as a mom, you feel so many highs and so many lows?? The highs are like a wonderful drug, you feel giddy, your pride in your child as they accomplish new things, are polite, well behaved and general little angels. Oh the other hand the lows can make you feel like not carrying on, if they pee on the floor one more time, you want to run out the door down the street and never come back.

Why is it that marriage and love is such hard work? Don't you think that in the perfect world you shouldn't have to work so hard at love? Shouldn't it just come easily. I figure if someone needs comforting, you should just know how to comfort. If someone needs emotional support, you should just be there for them. Why can't it just work perfectly like that?

I figure that the reasons for these things are that God is keeping you on your toes. If things go well all the time, we become complacent and taking things for granted. If our little angels are perfect all the time, we would, well...... for one be very satisfied moms (haha), but very complacent ones, and eventually not appreciate and value the good sides of our children, and just take it for granted. Still one can wish right?? :)

My wonderful hubby and I are going through some rough times in our relationship right now. You would think after 10 years, all that would be over, and everything would always be hunky dory. I am sure I am not the only one out there, but I find it very difficult to convey my thoughts and feelings to him in such a way that isn't cause for defensivness..or cause for complete confusion. I know that it takes two to Tango, but I am often left with the feeling of the load completely on my shoulders, feeling like if I had only done this better or that better....which I know he doesn't think that. But how does one change that feeling? My lovely mother was a bit of a martyr, well......A lot of a martyr, and I fear for myself falling into that trap. But how does one change ones way of thinking? I get down on my knees and pray for knowlege and help from God, but sometimes it doesn't seem like He is giving me a clear answer.

As for the peeing on the floor, I swear potty training is going to drive me completely mad!!!!

Missing you

For those of you who don't know, my wonderful hubby has to go away from home every four to six weeks, for a week at a time, for his job. I HATE it. People tell me, whoo hoo, time for a party! But for me it isn't a time to celebrate. I do try my best to think positivly about it, but it is hard. I enjoy having him around, the adult company. When you have a toddler around you all day you get stuck it that toddler mentality, and when hubby comes home from work it pulls you out for a bit. However since I am sad and missing him quite a bit, I thought I would do a positives list and see if that lifts me up a bit.

1. I get the bed to myself
2. I don't have to cook full meals
3. I can go wherever I want without checking first
4. Gracie and I have lots of girl time
5. I have the computer all to myself, don't have to share.
6. I don't have to pick up after him
7. I don't have to clean discusting tupperware
8. I don't have to have anything done before he gets home

I really can't think of anymore at the moment!! It usually goes pretty quick and then he will be home again. I can't wait!!

Pleasantly suprised

Isn't it wonderful to be pleasantly suprised? This past weekend, as we headed out on our first camping trip with our dear, wonderful, but sometimes willful and tempermental, 2 year old. But there was no melt downs, no real tears. The opposite occured, there was nothing but laughter, and learning and seeing new things. In fact some of the only tears happened when she had to say bye bye to the tent.

She does however have a black eye....she hit the corner of the picnic table, and it didn't look too bad, but today sadly the eye is all puffy and turning color...Poor thing looks like she has been through a war, she has three mosquito bites (which are swollen hugely) and a black eye.

One thing that Gracie did learn was to squeal/shreak. We took her to the Crowsnest river to cool down, and put her little feet in. And she shreaked....and giggled, then shreaked again. When Chris dunked her in, that is when she really found her voice, and loved it. Wanted more....How did she become a real little girl, isn't she still my baby?

To show a toddler all the new things that come with camping is truly a pleasure. It makes you notice the simpler things your self. I don't know when the last time we took so many pictures of flowers and Gracie smelling flowers, and trees, and the sky. What a joy it is to just breathe, and realize what a blessing a simple blade of grass is, a pinecone, oh and what joy!! We get to sleep in a tent!! Teaching her how to roast a marshmellow, or a hot dog, how to blow up the air mattress, how to throw a frisbee, These things we all take for granted, and watching the intense pleasure it gave her was refreshing.

I do really enjoy going down to the Crowsnest pass area, for many reasons. It is beautiful country, the drive down always brings back my longings for the ranch lifestyle. Seeing cowboys riding across the land, ranch houses in the middle of nowhere, makes me think back to my childhood. My father did all that, and it gives me great respect for him. Watching cowboys ride in long sleeved shirts, chaps, in 30 degree weather......I understand now why my dad wears long johns until july!!

Also the pass is so rich in history and tradgidy, the mountain falling, the mines collapsing, fires, the people who live there must truely love and want to perservere there.

Again I suppose I enjoy it too, for all the little things, the interesting trees, the crazy bird that woke us up, the sun setting over the mountains, the smell of pine, the crackle of burning wood, the crisp morning air, the mountain flowers, the fresh breeze, the views, and much more.

We asked Gracie to go in the tent for something, and in her cute little two year old way, she said, "I don't wanna go in the tent, theres a bee in the tent!" (meaning of course a fly)

I do believe that Gracie's favorite things this trip were ; Playing in the dirt with a cup and a spoon, jumping on the air mattress, unzipping the window of the tent when she should have been going to sleep, marshmallows, weilding a really long pointy stick - Again, the joys of being a kid!!

Ahhh, but what bliss to get home, to soak in the tub and wash the grime away. Maybe that is why we didn't realize that Gracie had a black eye, it was covered with dirt!!!

Funnies

I was perusing the internet and came accross these humourous thoughts, which cracked me up, so I thought I would share.

Toddler property laws

1. If I like it, it is mine
2. If it is in my hand, it is mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it is mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it is mine.
5. If is mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I am doing or building something, all of the peices are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine.
8. If I think it is mine, it is mine.

Another funny to share, Friday was Gracie's birthday and Saturday was Chris's birthday. I was trying to get Gracie to say how old she was...

"honey you are this much, one, two!!"

I get an "ok" from her.

Then I said, "daddy is 29 tomorrow!"

and in the most disbelieving voice

"Noooooo daddy's three!!"

Life with a two year old

What can I say?? Life with a two year old!! I just can't believe how fast time has gone, wasn't it just a few months ago that I brought her home from the hospital? Wasn't it just yesterday that I was never sleeping at night? Well yes, it was yesterday in fact.

Time is a funny thing, you wish away the hours until the weekend, until your hubby comes home, until nap time, until lunch time, until....until....until. But then you look back and wish for all that time back. There must be a lesson there, that we all need to learn to cherish all the moments, good and bad. What I wouldn't give to sit and watch TV with her fast asleep on me, not daring to move so she didn't wake, grumbling because I wanted to do something else.....now with a 2 year old pushing hugs away, only laying her head on my shoulder when she is tired, I sure wish I had appreciated it fully at the time.

That being said, I do have to look back at those times, and realize that not all of it is lost moments.....just more than it should be. The hard thing is that you learn this from your first child, and I can imagine when you have the second you want to cherish the time, but it is even harder since you have two kids to care for, and the first one demanding your time. I imagine it would be even harder to find those cherished moments.