I am Mom

When I became the mother of one child, Gracie, I remember feeling overwhelmed, exhasted, and frustrated a lot of the time. I didn't know what to expect out of naps, sleep, feeding, and when naps didn't go well I would get very mad, and annoyed.

I regret that.

Now as a mother of two, I hardly ever get annoyed with Alysha, her naps, sleeping or eating. When she is hungry she is fed, when she is tired she sleeps, and when she is awake, she is awake. What changed? All I know is that this time around I am a better adjusted, content and happy mom.

I feel blessed. I feel content. I am a mom.

With Gracie I think I was having a hard time adjusting to becoming a mom, I felt I had lost my identity. With Alysha, I am becoming something more....a real mom. And it is something that I am proud of. Something that I am content with, and something that I never, ever want to change.

I am part of a family, three people love me more than I ever imagined. Two little people look to me for guidance. I am needed.
I love kids now, love playing with them, loved being attacked by my kids, and my nephew and neice...I am loved.

Thank you God for making me a MOM!!

IT

Hubby has got IT.

I don't know if IT is H1N1 or not.

But he has got IT what ever IT is.

He has a bad cough, achy, and generally feels like crap.

We had pretty much decided not to get the vaccinations, but this kind of takes it out of our hands anyways, kinda late now. IT is in our house.

I just hope and pray really really hard that my Alysha doens't get IT, or my Gracie. Alysha is under 6 months so she wouldn't have been able to be vaccinated anyways, and there is just something so terrible about a baby so small being sick.

I am going to go get groceries hopefully tomorrow before I get IT. I am buying some major refils of Lysol wipes and hope to get IT out of my house before IT gets me!

Mom truths!

A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for.

You will lose tiny socks in the wash.

You will be able to shower, wash and dry your hair, and get dressed in less than ten minutes.

You will want to apologize to friends and family who had kids before you for never really getting why they had less time for you.

You will fantasize about what you would swap for a good eight hours of sleep.

You will be so proud of every ounce your baby gains.

You will wish you had the time and brain cells to read just one of the novels you blew through when pregnancy heartburn kept you up all night.

You will want to throw the baby monitor out the window.

You won't have the desire or the time to iron the crib skirt after you first wash it. And the wrinkles will drive you crazy. But not crazy enough to dismantle the crib and iron it.

You will wonder how other new moms manage to be so skinny, put-together, or energetic.

You will forget all about your difficult day with your baby when you finally see her sleeping peacefully at night.

You will have some mornings when you bounce out of bed to get the baby... and others when you need a truck to pull you from under the covers.

You will thank God for caffeine.

You will get used to how your husband comes home from work, checks on the baby, and "accidentally" wakes him up.

You will pretend you don't smell your child's dirty diaper as you hand her to her dad

You will overbundle your tyke for winter outings.

You will get sick of hearing yourself say, "I didn't get to it yet."

You will feel naked when you walk outside alone.

You will put your sweet pea in the ugliest outfit he's got, take an obligatory photo, and send it to the distant relative who purchased the fashion disaster.

You will call your new-mom friend to say that your baby has a runny nose and has sneezed twice, and that if she wants to reschedule your play date, you'll understand.

You will get peed, puked, or pooped on when you have nothing handy to change into.

You will pack everything your baby could possibly need for a weekend and forget your own eyeglasses or toothbrush.

You will detest traffic -- it means you're either late getting back home to your child or stuck in the car even longer with a fusspot.

You will crack up when you see your kid get down to music for the first time.

You will chat intimately with complete strangers on the grocery checkout line just because they are pregnant or have a small child.

You will e-mail friends and family pictures of the baby, always noting that if they want to stop receiving the updates you'll totally understand.

You will confess to your hubby whenever you do something not-so-smart with the baby, to ensure he doesn't make the same mistake.

You will catch your husband or partner being moved to tears by the baby.

You will feel so lucky to have a child when you catch up with a friend who's been struggling to get pregnant.

You will hear about criminals on the news and wonder what their moms are doing.

You will wake up feeling sick one morning but will muster the strength to get through the day with your baby because you have to.

You will be excited when your tot grows out of one size and into the next.

You will be sad to put away what he's grown out of.

You will actually be in the mood for sex one night, only to find that your husband's passed out cold in bed.

You will not be in the mood for sex as he runs his foot along your unshaven legs and touches your greasy hair.

You will consider your husband's work commute his alone time, and be jealous of it.

You will be taken by surprise by your first postpartum period.

You will struggle to stay close to some of your childless friends.

You will make peace with your stretch marks because they give you character.

You will accept that your husband will never be as paranoid about the baby as you are, and will decide that's a good thing.

You will eventually find a playgroup whose kids are on the same schedule as yours.

You will live for your girls' nights out, once you get a couple under your belt and see that everything at home went just fine without you.

You will find Cheerios in odd places.

You won't care that she's getting food in her hair when she does "So Big" in her high chair.You will cherish the freedom to empty the dishwasher while your baby holds his morning bottle himself.

You will try not to take it personally when your sweetie's first word is "Da-Da." It must be easier to pronounce. [Editor's note: It is!]

You will write more-heartfelt thank-you notes to anyone who gives a toy without lights, batteries, and noise.

You will be relieved when your child turns 1. You didn't break him.

You will marvel at the volumes of unconditional love you have for your most wonderful achievement -- your baby.

Thankful Wednesday

Ok so I have a lot to be thankful for today. As I wrote yesterday I did some serious changes for Alysha sleeping. And wow!! I was lent this great book "The Sleep Easy Solution" by Jennifer Waldburger and Jill Spivack. And that along with some great advice from a great friend has done the trick and in less time than the guaranteed week it is supposed to take. Now I know that it won't be perfect, and we may have some set backs, but by the time the week is up, I am hoping to have a sleeping happy baby! She has been terrible the last while, getting so dependant on her soother and her being swaddled tightly. And well....babies spit soothers out and wriggle out of blankets, so it made for some miserable sleep for me. Yesterday morning I had had enough and so the soothers went in the garbage and I just swaddled her from her arms down so that she could learn to sooth herself. She did cry a wee bit, but nothing terrible and to sleep she went. Last night was awesome! She slept until 1, cried for about 10 minutes, and put herself back to sleep until her 4 o'clock feeding, then slept right through until 8:30! So I am praying that this trend continues, as I got a wonderful nights sleep! A happy rested mom, makes for a happy rested baby.

I am also very thankful today for my husband. We have been through our ups and downs (who hasn't) but it is so wonderful to know that you have someone who has your back, someone who believes the same as you do, someone you can call on in the middle of the night, no questions asked. He is the most amazing father, his girls are his world. He is making a job change again because he can't spend enough time with his girls. What better father could you wish for? There are times as a mom that I do feel isolated and cut off from friends and family, you tend to loose things in common with people, and with a wee babe and a toddler it is hard to sometimes get out and socialize, but I am so thankful that even though hubby and I don't have a whole lot in common (He is a bit of a geek and I am pretty cool!) I have someone who I love to spend time with, to spend time with every day!

Thankful Tuesday

Each day this week I wanted to sit down and write out something that I was thankful for.....I feel that yesterdays post wasn't as thoughtful and thought out as it could have been, in between cries and bottle feedings, and feeding Gracie, and playing with Gracie, I just didn't have time.

Last night was, for the lack of a better word, Hellish. Alysha has become dependent on her soother and being swaddled tight....and every time her soother gets lost, she cries. Last night she was up literally every half an hour! So today I am mentally exhausted, and physically as well. We have decided that we have lost all her soothers, and are wrapping her with her arms free so that she can learn to comfort herself. Today has been not too terrible, a few tears, mostly from me, and she has slept for her naps. But as we go to bed tonight we are dreading it, as we have no soothers to give her, Gracie is in the next room having to listen to her cries, and both hubby and I are sleep deprived.

So all that I can think of today to write, is please pray that this goes well.....Pray real hard! I am thankful that I can have people pray for me, so I guess that is what I am thankful for this Tuesday. Hopefully tomorrow I am in a better frame of mind for blogging!

Thankful Monday

Today I am going to take the time and be thankful for what is most prominent and precious in my life right now, my girls. Too often I find myself wishing away time, till nap time, till bed time, till teething is over, till, till, till. This is a habit that is far to easy to fall into and something that I want to avoid. The time with our children goes by far too quickly, and I cannot believe that Gracie is three already! So for Alysha I have been more careful with my wishes!

Gracie makes me laugh so hard, we all need something to make us laugh and if you need that in your life, a three year old will do the trick. The things that she comes out with are just too funny. Gracie also makes me appreciate the smaller things in life, she makes me to remember to thank God for Teddy bears, butterflies, pebbles, and bees. She also brings that imagination back to life, that I have lost somewhere along the way to adulthood. How to be a princess, or a cat, or a fire "breeding" dragon. How come I forgot how to do that?

Alysha makes me praise God for the miracles in our lives. What says miracle more than little precious babies. Especially ones that smile all the time. It really does amaze me how they develop so much in the first few weeks, going from hardly seeing to recognizing and smiling when momma comes in the room. To flailing and repeatedly beating their own faces, to grasping a rattle or sucking on fist. She has taught me so much more patience, and I really didn't realize how much love one heart can hold!

So on this monday I am thankful for my girls, they give me great pleasure, great frustration, but through it all I become a better mom, a better person for it, and I thank God for the great gift of children.

Todays thoughts

Grocery shopping was wonderful!! It was a great shopping trip, both girls were so well behaved! Now today we had to go to Alysha's three month appointment, which went really well also. She is almost 14 Lbs...and has doubled her weight!!

I am so happy that I had surgery! I am feeling so much better, besides being tired....I can eat again, I can enjoy food. And I sure do enjoy food. I must be careful I don't gain all the weight back that I lost. But I am 100% back to normal!

I am very tired.....I remember being exhausted with Gracie as well, but at least back then hubby had a job where I could look forward to those nights where he would take over for me. At this job he is in now, his schedule is all over the place, so it is hard to look forward to sleep. On that front, hubby is looking for a new job. We thought this one was the way to go and maybe God wanted us to take it, but looking back...we aren't so sure we did the right thing. How is one to know? All the signs can point in the right direction, and you can still go wrong. Although one thing to trust in is that God makes all thing good so that is reassuring.

Next week I am going to try something new on my blog, each day I am going to devote to something that I am thankful for...I hope I can keep up with it....

Oh Kids!

My Gracie complained that her pee hurt, so a good friend of mine who is a nurse offered to test her pee for me. So I went to the cupboard and picked out a clean dry tupperware which I never wanted to use again.

Gracie peed in the "cup" quite excitedly as she has seen mommy do it with all my prenatal appointments. Pee was tested and she does not have any infections which relieved me.

I proceeded to go out for a girls night with said friend, and I get a phone call from hubby to tell me that he had heard a bang, went and found Gracie. The bang he had heard was the cupboard door, and there Gracie was on the toilet, peeing in a tupperware!!

Oh Kids!

So today I am going to head out grocery shopping. The first time with both kids....I am slightly nervous, I am sure though it will be fine....

The Gall bladder update.

Well I am all out of surgery and almost all healed up. What an ordeal!! I can tell you though, that if you are nervous at all about having surgery, all the drugs really do help! I have never been so stoned in my life, and I never want to be again. I laugh about it, I was pretty funny afterwards on Morphine, but really, I don't like that feeling. That is one of the reasons I have never really done drugs or drink overly much, I don't like that spinny feeling of being out of control.

But it is over...and now I can eat again. It is amazing how it takes getting the flu to appreciate water, and getting Gallbladder problems to appreciate eating.

Just thought I would put up a quick update, I have been so tired and busy, I wish I had time to write more or get more in depth...but I don't.

God Bless