I am not sure why I haven't been able to find the time to blog.....I can seem to find time to email my best friend everyday, sometimes many times a day, play games, organize my filling cabinet, but finding time to blog just seems to take the back burner. Perhaps it is because I have to dig a little deeper.
I have had an eventful couple of months.....besides of course the birth of my sweet little girl. I had an easy birth, a really quick birth, and then everything went down hill from there. My blood pressure still hasn't normalized, I spent time in the hospital the week after Alysha was born for that....it was scary high. It is under control on meds and I can see it getting better week by week, but it sure is taking its time.
I was also having a rough time the first couple of weeks adjusting to having a new babe in the house. I think I was on the border line of depression or something. So I prayed that God help me deal with it all and give me strength......well He did! I started getting severe pain in my upper abs, radiating into my back and up into my arm....it was terrible, the worst pain I have ever felt. I had a week of "attacks" and finally I had one so incredibly bad I thought I was going to die, so to the hospital I went. After some tests etc, it turns out my gallbladder is FULL of stones, and out it must come. I have surgery in two weeks (it is Emergent surgery that is why I got in so fast) So needless to say, I am dealing with having two kids with no problems at all, it is becoming a pleasure and even at times somewhat enjoyable! Thank you God! (I do mean that, even though I have worse to deal with now)
After Gracie was born, I got Mastitis, which I thought the pain was worse than childbirth....After Alysha was born I get Gallstone attacks....which is definitely worse than childbirth (I really feel for my friend who had a kidney infection now, I didn't realize how terrible the pain is) So I wonder if we had a third child (which we are not) what I would get???
I am slowly getting more and more nervous to have surgery. I have been thinking about each thing that must happen to me, but usually the thought always turns back to the falling into oblivion. It occurred to me in the shower this morning (that is when I think) that I think the biggest thing for me is the utter trust and faith that one must have in not only ones doctors, but in God. I am having to surrender my life and trust that God will hold me in the palm of his hand, and that He will guide the doctors. This is scary. I do have Faith, and I do trust....but it is scary. I thought of the person on the second floor of a burning building, having to jump and trust that the firemen will catch them....You have to jump, but how terrifying would that be, especially if you were scared of heights?? Please pray for me.