Friday, July 25, 2008

Work, work and more work.

Why is it that as a mom, you feel so many highs and so many lows?? The highs are like a wonderful drug, you feel giddy, your pride in your child as they accomplish new things, are polite, well behaved and general little angels. Oh the other hand the lows can make you feel like not carrying on, if they pee on the floor one more time, you want to run out the door down the street and never come back.

Why is it that marriage and love is such hard work? Don't you think that in the perfect world you shouldn't have to work so hard at love? Shouldn't it just come easily. I figure if someone needs comforting, you should just know how to comfort. If someone needs emotional support, you should just be there for them. Why can't it just work perfectly like that?

I figure that the reasons for these things are that God is keeping you on your toes. If things go well all the time, we become complacent and taking things for granted. If our little angels are perfect all the time, we would, well...... for one be very satisfied moms (haha), but very complacent ones, and eventually not appreciate and value the good sides of our children, and just take it for granted. Still one can wish right?? :)

My wonderful hubby and I are going through some rough times in our relationship right now. You would think after 10 years, all that would be over, and everything would always be hunky dory. I am sure I am not the only one out there, but I find it very difficult to convey my thoughts and feelings to him in such a way that isn't cause for defensivness..or cause for complete confusion. I know that it takes two to Tango, but I am often left with the feeling of the load completely on my shoulders, feeling like if I had only done this better or that better....which I know he doesn't think that. But how does one change that feeling? My lovely mother was a bit of a martyr, well......A lot of a martyr, and I fear for myself falling into that trap. But how does one change ones way of thinking? I get down on my knees and pray for knowlege and help from God, but sometimes it doesn't seem like He is giving me a clear answer.

As for the peeing on the floor, I swear potty training is going to drive me completely mad!!!!


Anonymous said...

Poor you!!! Good thing you haven't found a puppy yet???? Maybe you should wait till Gracie is trained!! He he he!!! I agree with you about appreciation and I also think God doesn't leave our ducks in a row too long because we need to rely on him and not our ducks!!! I hope you get the answers your searching for soon though!!! I love you and am hear for you!!!

JMBMOMMY said...

I definitely don't have the answers but where I am right now is this -- I know God says His burden was great so that our load should be light. I know we CAN'T do enough to make these relationships work--but HE can. I am learning to abide in Him-renew my mind daily with His truths and Rest. As I allow Him to be my life and allow Him to live through me (without my lousy efforts getting in the way) it seems to be lighter. Much lighter.

My story

Welcome to my blessed life!! Meet myself, a 32 year old stay at home momma. Meet hubby, who I have been married to for 14 years. We got married right out of high school, and while there have been many hardships, my husband is my best friend, and I wouldn't change a thing. We are living life with a 6 year old Grade oner, Gracie and 3 year old toddler, Alysha, which has its challenges, but we love every minute of it. God has blessed us with everything we need as well as tonnes of great friends and family.