Oh wow it has been too long since my last blog. Lately I find that instead of sitting down and relaxing when I need to it is no longer in front of the computer it is laying down and reading a book. I do from time to time think about blogging, however I feel like all I do is complain and am really working on that, and I think that I could too easily use the blogging tool for an outlet for my complaints. So today, on this lovely May long weekend, I am going to blog. I am going to blog my complaints and then beside them think of the positives to encourage myself.
Don't get me wrong, things aren't that bad, and others have things worse than me, that is why I don't feel like I have the right to complain.
1) I am HATING being pregnant (I am sure specifics will make the later list). I am not enjoying being impeded, feeling like a whale and all the fun stuff that goes with being pregnant. - I am loving the fact though that Gracie will soon have a baby brother or sister (I am thinking brother...we shall see if I am right) I am also enjoying the closeness it is bringing to my family, all the touching and kissing of my belly is pretty darn cute.
2) My blood pressure is high, not too high for medication yet, but we are monitoring me carefully. This brings a whole lot of worries for me, things I dealt with last time. - However at least being through it before, I do know what to expect and certain things like needing to be induced a tad early might not be so bad, at least I can plan better for caretakers for Gracie and what not.
3) We are on a budget......a very tight strict budget. Due to the recession, hubby will not be receiving a raise this year, in spite of working sooooooooooo much lately. This makes for a stressful time, and I am having a hard time with it. When I go shopping I tend to buy things. I guess I am an impulse buyer, it makes me feel good for some reason or another. And being on a budget, I just can't do that. Also birthdays come around and our family tends to go out for supper lots to celebrate, and we have had to bow out of a couple of family get togethers. - But, I do feel awesome that we aren't going into anymore debt!! I am so proud of us that we are working together on this and things are the way they are. There are no discussions or arguments, we both know where we stand, and make our payments and eat, and have the occasional outing, so for that I do know we are extremely blessed.
4) I can't bend over to play in the dirt.....I am sorry, I can't think of a positive for this one! lol
5) I really feel that my time left before the baby is born is so little now. 10 weeks to go...in one sense, yipee!! it will be over soon......however, I am holding on to Gracie as being my only child and it is so hard for me to comprehend what life is going to be like after. I haven't felt any real "bonding" with baby xyz yet, and it is hard to imagine that he/she is ours. - Being through all this before though I am not as worried about adapting to life after baby. I was so scared when Gracie was born, I thought she would change everything....well she did, but I can't imagine life without her. And this is just another addition, it will become so normal, so quickly.
So there are five complaints of mine, worries I guess you could say. I have more.....but they don't seem quite as large as before, most comes under the heading of not loving pregnancy.
Well the outside warmth is calling me, so off I go to try and bend over again with no cramping!!