Be my Valentine Challenge

 

Week 1 January 21st 

Look for ways to praise your husband verbally. Praise him in front of the kids, friends, family, co-workers, on face book, tweet it – get praise out anyway you can! Try to mention something noteworthy he has done – in his role as provider, father, husband, lover, or friend. If the thought of trying to come up with one terrifies you, then pray right now that God will give you new eyes to see your husband as God does. Then open your mouth and say something kind and uplifting to your husband today and tomorrow and the next day until Valentine’s Day arrives!

 I found this fabulous idea from a really great blog. Check it out http://womenlivingwell.org/. I want to do some serious soul searching, and learning about various parts of my life. And well, as I was browsing around the internet, I came across this, and want to give it a try.

Our marriage has never been what I would call "normal". I like to call us "passionate" we passionately love and we passionately fight. I think that's a positive thing right??

“The wise woman builds her house,

but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.”
~Proverbs 14:1 

I find this scripture defines me as a woman. I feel like there is a bit of both in there, I build up my house, my kids, my hubby....and then in one moment of rage, pain, lack of judgement, it all comes tumbling down. And that is the parts I remember, the parts where it all lays in ruins around me. Not the happy parts, not the parts where things are shined up and the towers wave their flags.

I remember being in a fight with my husband and knowing he was wrong and I was 100% right. There was NO way I was going to apologize for anything I had said or done and I was not about to be the first one to try to make amends. This huge fight was his fault and he was going to have to come to me and make it right.

I sat alone, sure that any minute he would come up the stairs and beg me for forgiveness…and I waited…waited in anguish – crying – praying…praying…praying…(shhhhh) I sense God telling me to give him grace. (shhhhh!) – thoughts of forgiveness and and saying sorry myself started to run through my mind. Lets just fix this.....

"Really God??!!! Do I have to swallow my pride and apologize???"

I struggled a few minutes.....fighting a war in my soul. God was speaking to me and I was trying to ignore it and push it away. Why should I be the one to be first?? Why can't he be first and apologize?? Why do I have to pull up my big girl pants and do it?? I can't push down Gods truths, and so I put one foot down in front of the other, and walked into the living room, and I went first......I said sorry. And I had to mean it. and as I did, the whole feeling of the room changed and we are able to talk and communicate about everything and lo and behold a conversation happens instead of a war.

Going first. It’s not easy to be the one to take the initiative and go first…it takes great strength and humility.

And this is the story of our fights....pretty much each and everyone....

It’s easy to scream, yell, and fight. No one has to teach me how to do that! The harder thing is to control my tongue and choose to not fight. That takes strength. The weak are those who hold a grudge, remain in their bitterness, refuse to forgive – the strong are secure in their faith knowing that they are loved with the unfailing love of Jesus. The strong can give what Jesus gave – forgiveness, mercy and grace.

JR Miller writes “So it is in the dark hours of a man’s life, when burdens press, when sorrows weigh like mountains upon his soul, when adversities have left him crushed and broken, or when he is in the midst of fierce struggles which try the strength of every fiber of his manhood, that all the radiance and glory of a true wife’s strengthful love shine out before his eyes. Only then does he recognize in her God’s angel of mercy.”

Let’s be angels of mercy to our husbands. We may think they are filled with confidence and strength but they are only human. They have insecurities, fears, failures, burdens and cares that we do not always slow down to recognize. We lose our tenderness in the hustle and bustle of life and this month let’s slow down and really see our husband’s with fresh eyes.

* Italics are quoted from the bog listed above.*